


like us, rules are meant to be broken

by most_ardently_writes



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Billy Hargrove Is Bad at Feelings, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Making Up, Max is there if you squint, No spoilers really just mentions of scars, Post Starcourt, Post-Break Up, can everyone just be bad at feelings??, steve harrington is bad at feelings, why is there no tag for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27848502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/most_ardently_writes/pseuds/most_ardently_writes
Summary: “Right, exactly. Like what’s the big deal, right? It's a totally and completely normal thing that friends do,” Steve chuckles, in that breathy, awkward way. “It’s not like - you know- you don’t- you weren’t in love with me or anything like that.” Steve’s eyes dart to Billy’s, hesitant.Yes, you fucking dumbass. I’m in love with you.Or the one where Steve panics about breaking the rules, and Billy's already broken them.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 7
Kudos: 152





	like us, rules are meant to be broken

**Author's Note:**

> Neil is gone, but Billy still lives at home with Max and Susan. Everyone is still alive.

_Five o’clock. Not 5:03. Not 5:15. Not 5:30 when Steve gets back from work. Five fucking o’clock._

_He’s gonna kill Max._

That’s his first thought as he watches Steve make his way down the steps, towards his car.

_And then he’s gonna have to kill the kids next. No witnesses and all that._

Steve trips down the stairs, just barely catching himself. _Stupid Harrington and his stupid face and his grace of a foal._

He steadies on, a determined look on his face now.

_And then he’ll kill Harrington._

_Maybe._

Steve briefly catches his eye, and for a moment, Billy gets lost. Lost like he does every time Steve looks at him like that. Like he’s the final mission on a long journey. Like he’s safety after a battle. Like he’s home.

Billy looks away.

Reminds himself that Steve doesn’t look at him like that anymore. Because they were just fooling around. And it meant nothing. Nothing. Billy meant nothing.

_Yeah, he’s gonna kill Max. And then the kids. And then Steve. And then Hopper is gonna kill him. Circle of life._

Steve walks over to him, hands shoved deep in his pockets, a slight blush already forming on his cheeks. He slides up next to Billy, leaning on the car, not touching him, but close enough that Billy can feel a ghost of his presence. He smells like pine with an undercurrent of shitty Family Video popcorn. Smells like Steve.

The scent surrounds Billy, practically overtaking him. Billy just about dies.

_Second time Steve’s practically killed him in the past week._

_Come on pretty boy, three strikes and you're out._

_Take me out._

“So. How’ve you been?”

_What do you think?_

“Fine.”

“Haven’t seen you around in a while. You’re always gone before I get back.”

And Billy was never one for small talk. “What do you want?”

“Nothing. I just- You haven’t come over in a while.”

“Why would I?” Billy asks, feeling the anger build in him.

“Just because we’re not, you know, you can still come over. The kids miss you. I miss you.”

“You got some fucking nerve, Harrington.”

Steve flinches at the name. “Don’t call me that.”

“That’s your fucking name isn’t it?” Billy eyes him directly.

“Yeah, but-”

“You’re Harrington, and I’m Hargrove. That’s how we are. That’s how we’ve always been.”

And he’s saying it more as a reminder for himself, but he can’t deny the way the words feel foreign on his tongue. A few days after they had started whatever it was they had, Steve had asked him not to call him Harrington anymore. Reminded him too much of his dad, and he was not his dad.

But that was then and this is now, and Steve is Harrington and Billy is Hargrove, and that’s just how it’s gonna be from now on.

And yet.

There’s something so vulnerable in the way Steve’s looking at Billy, that the ever present ache in his chest returns, and his hand unconsciously gravitates toward it.

Steve notices. Of course he does.

“Hey, you okay? Do they hurt?” His hand lands on Billy’s chest, lightly touching Billy’s scars, and- Billy runs hot already, but this is a new thing. Feels like a furnace is eating him up from the inside. He almost melts.

Steve moves his hand from his chest and runs them down Billy’s arms. Thumbs pressing words, patterns...maybe something more - into the skin. But no. They don’t do that anymore.

_We should stop whatever this is._

But, Harrington is here. Right fucking here. Standing in front of him, eyes desperately searching Billy’s, hoping for something to still be there.

It’s not.

Billy ~~can’t~~ won’t let it be there. Not when Steve’s just going to leave again. Leave like everyone else.

So Billy forces himself to look away. Squeezes his eyes shut so he can’t see the sun shine through Steve’s brown locks and bounce off the thin layer of water that’s threatening to fall from Steve’s eyes.

“Fuck off, Harrington. Not gonna tell you again.”

“Billy, please, just-” and Billy can’t take it anymore. Shoves him backwards. Not hard enough. Not like last time. But enough to make a point. _Leave me alone._

And Steve - with his long legs and his gangly features and his big doe eyes and his soft hair and- Steve trips.

_Of fucking course._

Lands on the ground with an oof, and tilts his head with that confused look as if he can’t figure out how he ended up there. Takes a moment, but he processes it and turns his eyes up at Billy with this look. And honestly. Fuck him. Steve doesn’t get to look at him like that. Like...like he’s the one breaking.

Billy hates the way he steps forward anyways.

“We back to this again?” Steve asks as he scrambles to his feet.

Billy ignores him, reaching into his pockets for a cigarette. Really needs something stronger, but he can’t risk being stoned around Steve. Not when he can feel that heavy ball crawling up his throat. Taunting him as it waits for Billy to finally slip up, so he can cr- No.

He pushes it down.

“Max, Let’s go!” he shouts towards the house. The curtain moves, and he sees a flash of red hair before it stills again.

“Billy, wait. About before.”

“I’m not doing this with you.”

“Max said-”

“Max talks too much.”

“Billy, please.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

Steve just doesn’t seem to care.

“I didn’t know, Billy. I-I didn’t know. I didn’t realize. It was just us being us, right?”

“There was never any us, Harrington, so I don’t know what the fuck you’re going on about. It was just something to do to pass the time in this shitty town.”

_Look at him go. Breaking his own heart. That’s a new one._

“Right, exactly. Like what’s the big deal, right? It's a totally and completely normal thing that friends do,” Steve chuckles, in that breathy, awkward way. “It’s not like - you know- you don’t- you weren’t in love with me or anything like that.” Steve’s eyes dart to Billy’s, hesitant.

_Yes, you fucking dumbass. I’m in love with you._

“Because you said we were just messing around.”

_Since when do you ever listen to me?_

“And you specifically said ‘Don’t fall in love with me, Harrington. You said that. Remember?”

“I know what I fucking said, Harrington.”

Steve’s eyes drop, and Billy watches his shoulders droop. “Right. Of course.”

The thing about Steve, Billy thinks. Is that he’s so expressive. Can’t hide his feelings for shit. And it's great for some things. Like when they’re fucking and Steve’s holding him and whispering a thousand _I’ve got you's_ into Billy’s neck. Or when it’s three in the morning and Billy’s nudging Steve awake because he’s sure he saw something because _why the fuck would he lie about that, Steve?_ And Steve, in all his grogginess, checks anyways even though he knows there’s nothing there and he knows Billy knows there’s nothing there but Billy’s Billy and sometimes he just needs that extra reassurance. Needs to know that someone isn’t going to take him away again in the middle of the night. Take him away from Steve.

So a few weeks ago, when Steve kept holding while they were fucking and kept protecting him from the shapes and shadows of the dark, but stopped looking at him like he was home, deep down Billy knew it would be over soon. And when that finally happened. When Steve looked over at Billy basking in the moonlight after a long night with those large eyes of his and that anguished look on his face, Billy knew. He knew before the words had even left Steve’s lips.

And if he went to the quarry instead of going home that night so he wouldn’t wake anyone with his cries. If he was just a little more rude to Max, especially after she would hang out at Steve’s. If he's been having weird, non supernatural related pains in his chest every time he smells the shitty family video popcorn Max brings home. Well. Who’s to know.

“I can um- I’ll go get Max,” Steve says after a minute. But he hasn’t moved, and his shoulders are still drooping, and he’s doing that thing where he hunches in on himself and starts tugging at his fingers even though Billy has told him he should stop before he accidentally pulls a muscle or something.

And Billy just doesn’t get it. Steve’s the one who ended it. The one who’s making him feel more broken than his dad used to make him feel. So why the _fuck_ is he acting like this.

“Fucking say something, Harrington,” Billy huffs out. Because he really doesn’t think he can handle much more of this. Can’t keep his cool when the boy he’s in love with is standing next to him, looking like he’s on the verge of something Billy’s all too comfortable with now.

And he wants to hold him. Press kisses into skin. But he can’t do that. Because the boy he’s in love with. Doesn’t love him. And it all meant nothing. Billy meant noth-

“Rules are meant to be broken, right?” And there’s that breathy chuckle of his again.

Billy meets Steve’s eyes, forces himself to focus.

And Steve’s so fucking expressive.

His eyebrows scrunch up as takes a stuttering breath.

“I’m so stupid, Billy. I- Fuck.” He drags his hand over his face. “I broke the rules, okay. It was all fine, and then I went and broke the only rule.” He’s pulling his fingers again. _Fucking stop doing that._ “I thought I could keep it going. Just me and you. It wasn't supposed to mean anything. But you’re you, and it’s _so much_ and _so everywhere_ , and I wanted to be consumed by you.” He lets out a lifeless chuckle. “I had to stop it before it got worse. I couldn’t save myself, but at least I could save you.”

_And fuck. Fucking expressive Steve can in fact hide his feelings._

“I’m sorry. Forget it. You're here for Max. I’ll go get her,” Steve’s finally moving now, and coldness floods Billy’s side, as if saying “Wake up! Go do something. Say something.”

“I broke the rules before we even started, so what you did wasn’t all bad. Me on the other hand. I was fucked from the beginning.” He shrugs, nonchalantly, as Steve faces him. Billy can literally see Steve processing each word as it registers on his face.

_Fucking expressive Steve._

“You gotta learn to break a few rules, Stevie. Can’t be such a goody two shoes all the time.”

Steve moves and Billy sees it before it happens. Steve and his long legs, and his gangly features and his big doe eyes and his soft hair and his- Steve trips.

Billy is there to catch him this time.

Wraps his arms around Steve’s middle, steadying him. And Steve's breathing heavy. His warm breath dancing over Billy’s lips.

“I’m so sorry, Billy. I never should’ve- I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Not your fault. I’m not the best at talking.”

“Yeah, but-”

“It’s okay, Steve.”

“No, Billy, I should’ve-” He huffs trying to figure out his thoughts. “You. Billy. You’re not nothing okay. You’re... _good_. You’re _everything_.”

And Steve and his fucking expressive face and his honey filled words and that smell of pine and popcorn - is going to make that heavy ball in his thoat finally explode, and he’s never been good with words, so he does what he’s been wanting to do for the longest.

He kisses Steve.

It’s desperate and full of clanging teeth and moans before fading into something tender and loving.

It feels like home.

**Author's Note:**

> This is me trying to write fanfiction after years of not writing any. Hope you like it :)
> 
> Any comments, kudos, or whatever is appreciated.
> 
> Come talk to me on [ tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/none-but-y0u) :)


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